Make my bedroom all of the things that I want it to be

Shockingly- there are just 2 things left to do on this goal really- except general cleaning and tidying

FIX THE STUPID CHEST OF DRAWERS THAT HAS BEEN BROKEN FOR YEARS

FIX THE COVING ABOVE THE WINDOWSILL- mum and I melted the coving a few weeks back AGAIN while painting the ceiling.

Then I suppose it’s just tidying up the art cupboard (I’m a bit of a painting-sculpting freak), throw out a few more old clothes & voila completed!

I wanted a bedroom with a double bed and lots of cushions… Some nice little statues and figures. A filing system. A place to stash my gifts and creations. A place to study. A place to be sexy. A place to sleep. A place to dream big and work small. A place where you could see that it was MINE.

Bought a buddhist statue yesterday. It is now in pride of place on my windowsill.

Also got a new duvet set to sit on my bed. I love the clash of colours in my room- so many different shades of red. Ben says it’s because red is my colour. It’s the colour that reminds him of me. Which I must say I quite like.

I painted my windowsill the other day too! Woooo me! And filled the cracks

I got rid of the stack of paper work that’s been on my side forever and my stationery is now in lots of lunch boxes under my bed according to colour. What a dork I really am!

Then I sorted through my clothes and found a pile of ‘I don’t like this anymore’ and that’s all gone inside a bin bag ready to be deposited in a charity store. Then I’ve got 2 more bags to sort through and then some dusting to do. Thennnnnnn

I’ve just gotta fix my blasted chest of drawers. It’s so broken I would probably be better off buying a new one!!!! Pshhh :) If only I were rich enough to do that!

I did filing today AND I feel smug about it :)

My pen pal is coming to stay with me later in the week. I haven’t seen her in a while so it’s going to be nice. I want her to see that my room is very- meeee but she wont be able to if I don’t dust it and de-uni it. It’s so full of paperwork and junk.

That’s why I’m burning my confidental info in a ceremonial burning session to celebrate the end of University. When I put that match to the incinerator in the garden it went up a treat.

I’m not looking forward to shredding the stuff that isn’t so confidential. It’s going to take forever.

There’s also an annoying damp patch that’s appeared in the ceiling above where I’m sitting which i suppose I should investigate. JOY.

Oh yeah, and I cleaned it from top to toe… how’s that :)!!!!

Just need to get the Chest of Drawers sorted… as I have needed for the last 3 years… haha.

And restuff my cushions and buy new pillows.

Still some to do.

Next week is going to be a busy one!!!!

The new drawers are SEXY :)...

Next week when I get a few hours I’m sorting the curtains!!!! AND I found a new bed set that I really like- and will buy next month- all being well!!!!

I’ve already sorted the clothes out. Found more of Heath’s stuff. It’s been bin bagged. I now have enough space to spread my clothes out… and realise I need to go shopping.

I’ve done a new memory bored as well. It’s like a gratitude wall. All the fun experiences of the last few months…

AND I’ve got a new picture of me and Luke in a frame. :) He’ll love it LOL. NOT.

...a leather cabinet thing to stand in the corner of my room. It looked gorgeous in the brochure and soooo hopefully when it arrives it’ll fit perfectly where I want it. At the moment my room is taking on a new dimension because I’m thinking ahead to the time when in a year I’ll be moving from this house and into something smaller. In this way I’m sorting things out for the future… but also making this room my space for the moment.

Also got a new pin board for my photos and tickets to go onto, and some new scented plug ins… to make it smell… chokingly fresh.

It’s still… albeit very slowly… getting there :).

I cleaned it before I went away to the Caribbean. I’ve come home and it’s still a cluttered mess- what felt good enough before my relaxing beach break doesn’t feel nearly good enough now- it feels like some kind of scrap jungle- not a relaxing paradise.

I think this holiday has changed me somewhat. I feel happier and yet heart broken as a result of it.

I met some wonderful people who I believe, have ultimately changed my life for the better. They’ve made me realise how much I have and how much I should be grateful for. Life is what you make it and you should take every opportunity you get.

I think that this will be the start of a BIG self improvement project- that will span the rest of my life. I will always strive for more… but be exceedingly grateful for what I’ve got.

To get back to focus on this goal I’ve bought back some local wood sculptures to put in here and some amazing photos!

It’s slowly and I mean slowly getting there. I’ve pulled all the bags of tat that I’ve got from all the holes in my room and tipped them out and thrown out a lot of my old clothes too. I’ve dusted. Cleaned the windows. Put all my books on the shelves of the Narnia Entrance bookshelf (now twinned). Cleaned off my glass. Put my extensive stationery collection into LOTS of boxes under the lip of my bed and started to clean my jewellery.

I’ve still gotta shelve out my wardrobe to make better use of the space I’ve got and alphabetise my CD/DVD collections. Furthermore I’ve got a bag full of stuffed toys to find homes for and another bin bag of clothes to get to the charity shop. Woop woo. Plus some touch up painting to do and of course that one of a kind canvas to locate and put up. Maybe some more cushions and pillows. A new lamp shade and replace that light bulb.

Then set the BIG silver clock working again. Let it be 5:37 no longer. EYE ROLL

Ok, so recently I’ve had a melt down with relation to this too. I’ve finally removed his stuff from my space… admittedly I put a few of the cards and his letters, along with his bank stuff into storage in case he ever decides to act like a grown up again but… mostly I’ve gotten rid of all things that I didn’t have before him.

I kept the jewellery he bought me, despite Luke’s pleas that I should sell it and let him pay for my holiday that way. Nice idea but I’m a sentimental shmuck and I like jewellery lol. I’m never going to try and erase him from my life because he was in everything and that would be too hard. I fought that for a bit… fought his existence but eventually I gave in. Sometimes I swear, even though I’ve washed everything I can still smell him on my pillows and cushions. The throws, my sofa… and the other day I found more of his smashed glass under my furniture… What kind of a man does that and then doesn’t move from the spot?

This has taken on a whole new meaning now. This is my task. The next week will involve cleaning it and making it mine again. My space, my zone, somewhere I can run away to, to think, meditate, get fit and what not.

I’d love my punch bag back but I can’t reinforce the ceiling in this room successfully soooo that’ll have to wait. For now I’ll make do with a Yoga mat.

I’ve got to snap out of it because I’ve just noticed my coffee cups are piling up. I went to make coffee and had to actually do some washing up… and that’s never a good sign. Wake up call number one.

I’ve still got stuff from my ex before him, almost a year ago now on my shelves… so I guess I should scrap that too although that doesn’t upset me in any way. It’s devoid of feeling almost. This one will be like that too one day.

Next step is to throw out my clothes. Most of them are too big for me now and to pretend they fit would be stupid. They must go to charity or my sister or something, then I can buy myself a new and sexy wardrobe. Start concentrating on a happier me.