respect myself

and not to get caught up in other people’s games

Respecting people is about treating people according to the way they are meant to be treated. I respect my parents by taking care of them in their old age. I respect my clients by providing tools that make their jobs easier. I respect my boss by being on time. I respect my friends by listening to them, and spending time with them.

I respect myself
by taking time for myself to be alone,
by listening to my heart,
by providing for my own needs,
by treating myself as a best friend.

I told this guy I like exactly how I felt. I told him I liked him, and I felt used because he totally stopped talking to me the moment he got a girlfriend. I told him I felt more like a fling then a friend. I’m so glad I told him. He hasn’t talked to me since, but the good thing is I’m not angry about that. I’m just going to let him go, and NOT chase after him. :P

2008 has had its lows and high more so than any other year in my life. I’ve been out with 2 people and both ended really badly, one I really liked but we were not suited. But I’ve also found out what i want to do and what i love most in this world, performing on stage. But at the same time i’ve been very isolated and have somehow lost all my confidence. I’ve been eating rubbish for the last 2 years, 2009 i’m eating healthily, I’m having dancing lessons and I’m also going to the gym and doing a few half marathons.

I went out with a guy friend of mine a couple of weeks ago. Him and I had a thing the summer after we graduated from high school. We hadn’t really seen each other since. Well, we went to the beach. he started making the moves on me. I straight out told him if he touches me again I will not hesitate to smack him. I felt very proud of myself for saying that. Before I would have felt bad and worried about risking our friendship. But he understood, and I was relieved to see he was mature about it.

Well, Last week was pretty successful. I’ve stopped sacrificing my own ffelings for others, and started putting myself first, and not allowing people to step on me.

If there’s someone in particular who likes to try to compete or put me down, I simply avoid that person, or don’t respond. I don’t have to give them any attention. I am a person, too, and I deserve respect.

So far so good…:)

I feel GREAT!! I HATE standing in the mirror and watching this fool I’d become, getting trampled and smiling. It’s a truly enlightening to have people looking at me for once, without passive, dismissive eyes.

Like I’m an entity, and a person.

I don’t know if this helped anyone else, but I’m not done with this Thing yet. I need a solid six months of continual self respect before I decide I’ve got the hang of it.

TIP: Nobody has the RIGHT to put themselves before you in a way that inconveniences you, or subtracts from your self importance.

My friend in High school once said: “When people buss style on you, you must buss it back, and don’t take no diss from nobody.”

Even though you’ll feel bad for stepping on the other person, it’;; feel better in the end, when you know that your respected YOURSELF.

What action can I take to earn self-respect?
I suppose I have to do something that I don’t think I can do. impress myself, maybe?
But WHAT IS THAT SOMETHING, is the question.

I’m so afraid of how I’ll turn out if I continue this pattern. I’m so afraid of losing people that my own self-respect doesn’t matter if I have them around.
I’ve been unofficial with this guy for two years now. I know the only reason he stay around is because it benefits him. I’m so afraid to start this goal officially. It’s so messed up, because I’m being selfish against myself. I’m not sure when I will actually start this goal officially, but I do know that I have intentions of doing it.

Respecting someone means being aware of that person’s feelings, needs, desires, boundaries, and treat the person the way she would like to be treated. I spend a lot of my energy respecting others. Now it’s time that I respect myself. After all, it’s my own respect that I need the most in the long term.

I blame my ex boyfriend for the way that I have decided to act and for the decisions that I have made. But I know I can’t. It isn’t his fault. I have come to realize that it is not his fault. At first, I wanted him back, and I thought that jealousy would be the best way to get back together with him.

On my eighteenth birthday, I made a decision based on my wonderful reasoning and hooked up with a guy that I barely met that day. I had seen him around before and we had mutual friends so I figured it would be ok. It turns out that he was a jerk. And so were some of his friends. They started tallking about me and telling all the guys that I was easy and that I was “one of those girls.” That bothered me for a while, but I know who I am, and my best friends know who I am, so after a while, I got over it.

I thought that I had friends that I could tell anything to and they would still be there for me. I had 7 people that I would tell everything to. However, I did something really big and when I told my friends, 3 of them showed me that they weren’t really my friends.

I hooked up with a guy over a period of time…and he had a girlfriend he had been going out with for over a year. After telling my friends this, one said he would stop talking to me if I continued doing this stuff, one threated to tell the girl, and one did tell the girl (but not who it was).

Three of my friends support me, and do not tell me what to do. They say what their opinion is, but ultimately the choice was mine. But one of my friends told me straight out how it is. He told me what would happen if I continue on this path. He didn’t want me to get mixed up in all of the negative aspects associated with hooking up with random guys. He told me I was better than this. I was on the verge of tears as we had this conversation.

I know now that I have to respect myself. I am a very smart person and I plan on changing the world one day, or at the very least, changing someone’s life. I know that if I don’t respect myself now, I will not be taken seriously.