respect myself

I blame my ex boyfriend for the way that I have decided to act and for the decisions that I have made. But I know I can’t. It isn’t his fault. I have come to realize that it is not his fault. At first, I wanted him back, and I thought that jealousy would be the best way to get back together with him.

On my eighteenth birthday, I made a decision based on my wonderful reasoning and hooked up with a guy that I barely met that day. I had seen him around before and we had mutual friends so I figured it would be ok. It turns out that he was a jerk. And so were some of his friends. They started tallking about me and telling all the guys that I was easy and that I was “one of those girls.” That bothered me for a while, but I know who I am, and my best friends know who I am, so after a while, I got over it.

I thought that I had friends that I could tell anything to and they would still be there for me. I had 7 people that I would tell everything to. However, I did something really big and when I told my friends, 3 of them showed me that they weren’t really my friends.

I hooked up with a guy over a period of time…and he had a girlfriend he had been going out with for over a year. After telling my friends this, one said he would stop talking to me if I continued doing this stuff, one threated to tell the girl, and one did tell the girl (but not who it was).

Three of my friends support me, and do not tell me what to do. They say what their opinion is, but ultimately the choice was mine. But one of my friends told me straight out how it is. He told me what would happen if I continue on this path. He didn’t want me to get mixed up in all of the negative aspects associated with hooking up with random guys. He told me I was better than this. I was on the verge of tears as we had this conversation.

I know now that I have to respect myself. I am a very smart person and I plan on changing the world one day, or at the very least, changing someone’s life. I know that if I don’t respect myself now, I will not be taken seriously.

I, like many other people, make mistakes. Something else that everyone including myself does is judge. Whether its right or wrong to judge, I don’t know, but regardless, everyone does it in some way. I look at the mistakes I’ve made in life thus far, and instead of just trying to learn from them, I’ve taken them to heart and lost respect for myself. I feel that I need to be my harshest judge. I don’t know what exactly I need to do to overcome this extreme lack of self respect or how to stop judging but I’m hoping that by making it a goal it will push me in the right direction.

- let go of people who are bad for me
- stop caring too much what other people think of me
- be independent in any possible way
- respect and look after my health, my finance, my work, my business, for myself, out of personal motivation
- don’t ask for help before trying to fix things myself
- do ask for help if realy needed
- be sure to keeping a agenda to myself, and not tell people to easily about my motives, before knowing who to trust this information
to
- be sure to find someone regular to show something of your real feel and mindset, and who you can realy trust, and show yourself fragile and self-respectfull at once
- never become drunk
- be honest towards yourself at all time, be honest and open to others in the possible way.
- let go of any masochistic uprising you notice in yourself
- respect others, but not after respecting yourself
- respect others out of selfrespect
- respect yourself in your ev’ryday presentation first, in the tone of your voice, the way you stand, your use of words and by not bypassing yourself when with others
- be gentle, but be real as well
- in-tros-pect your-self while alone or with others
- observate how others do or don’t respect themselfs, and learn from that.

One of the things i value is being open, loving, and giving. i am a caretaker type. I am still young and maybe i will look back on this and think i am being silly or nieve. Anyway, i am committed to who i am and that person is a giving, sweet, and kind person. i wont change for anyone. my interest in caring has nothing to do with the end result. it is beside the point. what is important about giving is that there is the pure action of it. i get so passionate about this idea, and then life happens and i loose sight of this ideal that i hold so dear, this concept i base my life upon, and a way of life i have already lived and loved. the important part of giving is in the action, the end result, and what the giver thinks or… how they reciprocate is not important – it isnt the POINT of giving. a strong person i believe is able to live this way. why cant humans just be kind, and go on with their day and not base their lives, or base their PERSONALITIES upon what they do for people. a strong person is able to be this sort of caretaker and i aspire to be this person, i aspire to never again, even for a moment forget about this becaise the most.. successful times in my life.. the most challenging and meaningful time of my life i was very adhered to this. i will be a strong human—aware of my faults, and with an iron clad adhesion to my values, and will not loose sight once again of who i am.

sometimes one has to loose it all to gain it back stronger.

Thank you 43Things, for allowing me to have the space to find myself again.

Opened my mouth and spoke up about what i wanted and how i wanted thigns to be. long time coming.

done in the right way, the squeaky wheel really does get the greese. i didnt want to be the “sqeeky wheel” but i realize it is better than [placating, and stuffing emotions and how i actually feel. becu then it comes out in passive agressive ways.

“i am naturally kind, it is second nature for me”
“i am a friend, not a floosey”

learning.

respect self.

and all other things fall into place.

IF the clothes make the man… then…..... do the clothes make the woman? I love a good pair of heels and…. a new…...... shirt/sweater/whatever. it is not the magic bullet. but… it helps

This had a lot to do with learning to say no ;
standing up for myself;
stop engaging in some patterns of behavior;
and it’s not perfect and that will never be my goal, but now it’s healthier and I’m glad this way.

also am respecting myself by sticking to a promise i made to myself over and over and over to break a bad and old habit that i had such a hard time to break.
but i just hated the person that i had become and was sick of it. i have stayed away from that bad habit for almost 3 weeks now:) its been 19 days today and im very proud of myself.its hard but not as hard as the first week.

doing this by simply standing up for myself and its hard cuz im not used to it but it feels good

same as love my self ya?