So I’ve been here and of course I started early. I updated a little on my other thing to do. I had to switch back to work mode and finally have time later in the day to get this posted. I will be here again late and won’t be home until 8pm. I did exchange some banter with my fellow employees today which made me cheerful, but man I am already dreading the weekend, I will be alone with nothing to do and that’s kinda sad. I’ve caught up on watching movies downtown and have been walking around and keeping busy as usual. But I would rather be at work right now. I don’t want to go back to an empty apartment and watch TV or read a book I want to do something besides dread being at home. I don’t know what I’m thinking I should be thinking it would be better to get some time off but here I am pining about not being at work what is wrong with me??! lol anyhow I better get back to work. lol
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I’m still here working harder than ever. This time for other reasons, and the same reasons. A lot has happened. I have a lot to be happy for but at the same time I am angry and work seems to be my only place I can call home. I had a lot of plans which I altered to fit something else which didn’t work. I will continue to work at this but seriously, I think I am stuck here and this is my real home, because I go to my so called home just to get something to eat, sleep, shower, get dressed and come back here to work again. I have been working 6days and usually leave around 5am and get back around 8pm each night. I try to have a life, but it’s hard with my emotions and having to have this work with my other thing that I’m doing. Between these two I think it will keep me busy throughout the year. But if I do find that I have the time to stop being a workaholic I think I will find myself completely lost. But I get up. I breathe. I go to work. I hope you all are well. & goodluck
I’ve just gotten a promotion (plus a raise)! That makes me feel so proud of myself since my hard work is appreciated and extremely thankful because I have a job that I really love.
I’ve been such a workaholic for the past 14 months… and it paid off. However, I don’t want to become a slave. I can be so obsessive! So, I wish I could find the right balance between taking care of my responsabilities and enjoying life. Such a challenge!
But I will make it. :)
I just realized a couple things tonight… well I should say overnight.. lol I truly am a workaholic. I can’t believe I agreed to work for the next 3weeks (including this past saturday night) that I just agreed to work 6days, 10hrs a night. Well I guess someone has to do it. But the silver lining?! (as someone tells me…) Is… that I will have more funds and comp time to use for a trip I plan to take towards the end of October… I have been planning this for awhile now and am glad of sorts that it will come together. I also realized this while I was writing (actually finishing) an email too. lol anyhow I suppose if it comes together it’s worth it smile until then I can’t see myself anywhere else other than my fortress of solitude and the bonus?! no telemarketing calls… grrrr I can’t believe I fear the telemarketing calls. I used to remember when you could be at home and the only people that called you were people who wanted to talk… why is it that when I want to talk the telemarketers don’t want to chitchat it up a bit?! I want attention too! I don’t just wanna buy your 40pc set of tools! I want to hear what you have to say… how was your day?! lol really though I am impressed with the tenacity even though I have nervous ticks and flee my home,lol where I’m suppose to be comfortable, and have my privacy, but I have to come to work to have those exact things? it’s weird I guess. I need to switch to daytime hours so I don’t have to hear from the telemarketers and work more daytime hours? hrm is that right? would that allow me more time to spend with those that want my attention? or is this just fine as it is? I wish I knew so for now I keep putting the hammer to the anvil and hope the sparks that come about make something beautiful and useful.. even if it’s just an analogy.. I hope what I do makes life easier for someone else so they have the strength to fend off those persistent telemarketers!
Well I wish I could say that i’m making progress with this… but I just took up some more hours… I suppose it’s good for the bank account… I suppose I can just chalk it upto the graduation trip I am going to go with my nephew on, extra spending money… but I don’t know if this is such a bad thing… should I focus more on spending time with family and friends? or am I just being too reclusive at this point? I suppose I just need to get more interaction with my friends and family but around now everyone I know is out and about having a good time at clubs and just out at parties. I guess I’m not quite into that scene right now. Maybe… a little more towards my bday or nearer to New Years I’ll get the party vibe… but I just don’t feel it… I feel like a part of me is missing right now, that I have no real course to pursue. I really wish I could pinpoint why I’m not so outgoing right now, that I wish I had an excuse to leave work and go do all the meeting and greeting that my friends are used to, but oddly enough I’m not upto doing all the craziness that I’m used to… old age? Maybe I’m becoming a boring person lol
well I guess time will tell… my friends and family call me more lately telling me about outings that I am invited to.. my family… definitely I love seeing my nephews and neices and going to birthday parties, but I wish my friends would stop trying to get me together with more and more people that want me to give them answers than just to chill…. I guess I just want to help one person at a time.. and maybe doing that I can help myself. I don’t know… but I’m here at work and I feel safe. No big bad wolf knocking at my door telling me to go out! lol I guess I shouldn’t be complaining either… I have good friends a good family. I sure wish I could find a reason to work less, play more, be aloof… but I don’t see why I should. So with a troubled brow I sit here writing this note trying to figure out what my next course of action is going to be… plan for more work… or plan more trips with people that may bale out at the last minute? I don’t know…
well after todays dealings… I’m glad I’m at work
so I don’t know when I will be able to get around
to whacking this big, “want to do” off my list…
I think this is my haven for now… my workplace
nothing but work and no dealing with phones from
friends and family who want me to do this or to
go here and there with them. How do I say no to people
who try so hard to get me out and about when I’m in
town? I don’t sleep much anymore as if I slept any
at all.. but somedays I just wish all my time would
be spent at work. I love the action but there isn’t
any real production outside of work for me. I go
home I do what I have to, return my messages make
plans for dinners movies and everything else but
work seems to be my only mistress.. hrm
I guess I’ll have to really think about this one more.
grrr but when you get news from people who want
something that’s long lost… it’s tough to say you
want to be home.
