Get over my past

I think about all the bad things that have happened to me in the past way too often, and it really effects me in my daily life. I want to be able to allow someone to feel or express a certain emotion or thought without having to deal with a reaction I may give out.

I’m hoping to achieve this pretty soon. My past troubles me a lot and I need to get over it before I can fully move on with my life and be truly happy.

It’s been several years now since I went away travelling to Oz and then onto a ski season in Canada, I have tried to move on but really find it hard too. The problem being that I was in a real rubbish relationship for years and for a young guy had health issues and then we broke up, made a fair amount of money each on our house and had no worries. So back packing around Oz I saw great things met some really nice people and had a few relationships… I wanted it to last for ever however in Canada doing the ski season I met a girl who blew my mind and even though it lasted 6 months is still always there in the back of my mind. I don’t know if it was a case of she was way out of my league (probably was) but it was happy times! Nearly 4 years later i’m about to get married and do really love my wife to be but help shifting some of my previous amazing relationships.

I know that they we’re different as I was care free not having to work and younger but so much in everyday life reminds me of them. I guess there’s not much that I can do except wiping my memory, throughing away evertything they ever bought me (clothes/cds etc) but I can’t see myself being that drastic!!! Anyway I’m not sure what will come of this, but in advice would help as most people have this happening to them at some point…don’t they?

My father and I were very close where as my mother and I were not. When I was 10 he died, leaving me alone with my mother. Within 2 months she was out every weekend at bars and dating other men. This happened for 2 years straight until she started to date a few different men seriously. When I was 14 she finally met her current boyfriend and they have been dating for 10 years now.
The problem is I hate her for dating so soon, I hate her for leaving me by myself all those weekend nights less that 2 months after my father died.
We recently talked about this and she feels that she did it all in my best interest.
Because of this I have never felt close to her and always had a close group of friends to see as family.
I moved across country 3 years ago and have made friends but none as close to the group of friends I once had.
I think that a lot the things I dislike in my life, low self esteem, depression, staying with men who have cheated on me or hurt me are because of my past. The only way I feel that I can get over my past is having a family of my own but I don’t think that I will end up getting married, so I’m trying to find a way to get over my past without having my own family

between all that i’ve seen and done that i regret i just need to get over it most of its not my fault…a 8 year old should not be put in the situations i was put in as a child. but i need to get over it, it happens i there is no way i can change it….kinda just dont know where to start…

I struggled so much with this two years ago. I couldn’t let anything go. I held a grudge against my friends for not being there, against the people who made these bad memories come to life, and against myself for doing what was right but not what was satisfying to do in the situation.

But I’ve come out of it as a much better person. I went from “half-empty” to “half-full” and maybe it took me this long for a reason. I’ve matured a lot and I’ve opened my mind.

Am I over it? For the most part but I don’t think I’d ever forget it. And that’s how I’ve learned to live. Forgive but don’t ever forget. Because if the memories aren’t there- the history will repeat itself. I never want to learn that lesson again.

Funny thing? Right after It happened I always said “If I were in that situation I again I’d definitely do something different” but now that I think about it- if I could change it I wouldn’t. And if it happened again I’d probably do the same exact thing again. Not because I’m stupid and didn’t learn, but because I’ve realized that even though it wasn’t the most satisfying response I had to what happened that day- it was the best solution. I did the right thing to begin with. And I guess doing the right thing can be just as hard to deal with as doing the wrong thing sometimes.

The dust has settled and I’m still standing. I came out of it- I got through it. And I’m still here; stronger each day.

To anyone else dealing with the skeletons in their closet I know exactly how hard it is to hide them and how hard it is to move on from them. My advice is to not hide them. I’ve been very open about my past and I think it’s helped a lot. It shows me who my real friends are; the one’s that still understand me, stand by me, and respect me even though I’ve been through rocky times. And I think they understand me more and stand closer to me and respect me more for telling them.

Sometimes the best solution to getting over your past is to never hide it. Good luck to anyone else who needs it as badly as I once did. You can do it. :]

[Boy, this was a long entry! Sorry! >.>]

in my life, it was, well, bad things happen so what, move on….but now it feels like bad things never stop happening so I keep count. How many bad things have happened to you? Ha Ha, I win, more bad things have happened to me – I have to right to feel like shit everyday and pretend the world is not going on around me while a soak in my self pity.

^{I’m getting there. I’ll have to keep you informed.}

I’ve finally come to terms with my past, adn I’ve accepted it. It’s not about “getting OVER it” it’s more like “learning to accept it and take it and learn to live with it.” Once you are just like, “Ok, this is a part of who I am. Take it or leave it. Love me or hate me. It doesn’t flippin’ matter anymore” is when you know you’re okay. And knowing you’re okay is one of the best feelings in the world.

Things happen to everyone. Good things, bad things… things that knock you on your ass for a couple of years. I am on the upside of that nasty valley that lasted too long and ya know I feel damn good. Its a new year.Almost. I am strong. I am sensitive. I am compassionate. I am not naive anymore.I am no longer afraid. These are all things that my past has brought out in me. YOu just cant linger… just take what you can and walk away.