Be more approachable

cause people who arent close to me say i look very cold!!
my ex crush saw me around one day and didnt even say hello till the very end..then after that he messaged me saying that he dare not approach me face to face and its easier on sms.
like WHAAAA?
haha. so new goal = be warmer!

So they ask, tell me something about {her}.... he says well she isn’t very approachable but…

Yeah, I had my suspicions, but thanks for confirming them. =(

br friendly and approachable.

i guess some people think i’m a bitch. i’m really nice once you get to know me

find that I have become so closed off during my relationship from family and friends. It really isolates you, because you’ve began living for the other person without even realising it.
I want to be able to include my OWN life in my next relationship with equality and not have an over bearing partners family/friends/interests weigh me down.

heck, I’m approachable.
I have to add “lose my beer belly”
to the list, and I’ll feel much better.
peace!

since smiling makes me instantly approachable. I think it’s time to retire this and just focus on smiling

“Smile. Reflect happiness, warmth, and confidence, and people will want to approach you.” I hate people, to be honest, simply because they make me so damn nervous. I’m always afraid I’ll be yelled at or publicly humiliated. But my husband was, I swear, a dog in another life. He’s the most open and approachable person I know. He sees someone in the store and it’s like his tail starts to wag and his ears perk up :) People love him because he’s so happy and silly and loving and helpful. I want to be like that.

At the Old Savannah City Mission, I met a few friendly acquaintances. Good people.

It’s hard to put my finger on exactly what it is, but I am now much more approachable than I was a year ago. Strangers talk to me, and people smile at me. And I’m fairly comfortable now starting conversations with strangers.

I think I now give off a warm vibe. Many years ago, a friend said I looked “stern”. Which is weird, because I’m actually playful and friendly. A few months ago, though, someone who I’d only met a couple times said that I “seem socially confident” and was rather amazed that I didn’t think I was.

How did I get the warm vibe? Tough to say, exactly. I tried initiating conversation with strangers, probing for things to like about them, and having an attitude of “isn’t this great, we get an opportunity to use our talents on some challenge”. Giving up attempting to control the outcomes of situations, and just enjoying participating in social situations regardless of how they play out, probably helped a bunch.

Another thing I did was learn to have shallower conversations. Find a way to summarize what I have to say in a sentence or two, and just accept that some wrong impression will be created. I used to need to do a lot of set-up before making my point, because what I have to say often doesn’t fit into widely shared categories. I was worried about being misunderstood. So I’d just not say anything, and probably gave off a vibe that I was afraid to have a conversation. Fear does not make you approachable. Easy, casual joy in what you’re doing does. I still sometimes go into “start by setting up the background” mode, but much less than I used to.

I picked up a habit from some socially successful friends: never missing an opportunity to high-five or otherwise celebrate someone else’s success. I started with the students I tutor in calculus: whenever they figure out a difficult problem or do something that shows that they really have gained some mastery, I high-five and say, “Score!” Now I do it with everyone. It catches people by surprise, and they love it. I think the warm vibe comes partly from having this “Score!” behavior set on a hair trigger. Another one I picked up from a friend is to say, “Well played!” in a subdued British accent while gently tapping two fingers into a palm. I’m ready to celebrate, and people sense that.

I don’t force myself to smile. But whitening my teeth probably helped, so I feel less inhibited about smiling.

I think getting more attractive, colorful clothes and trading in the nerdy wire-timmed glasses for contact lenses and/or pretty hip thick black-framed glasses helped.

Most of this is stuff that took relentless daily practice over a year or so. Taking a class in improvisational comedy six years ago was really my first step.