When I was younger I was always outside running around, so I always had cuts and bruises on my legs. I would always pick at the scabs until they bled. People sometimes thought I had chicken pocks I had so many scabs on my legs. Then I started picking at the skin around my nails. I would pick until they were swollen, red and bleeding. People would always ask what happened to my fingers and I never knew what to say. When I was a teenager I was diagnosed with MDD (major depressive disorder) and I cut myself. I’ve always struggled with anxiety, and I am guessing that this, along with my perfectionism and low self-esteem, led me to self harm. I have finally stopped cutting and picking at my nails! I am so proud of myself. However, lately I have been under stress, as I am going away to college in August, and I have been picking at my skin and scalp almost constantly when I am alone. I was so happy I found this website because it was such a relief to find a community to help people through this.
How to beat dermatillomania
How I did it: All my life (I'm now 54) I nervously, out of anxiety maybe, picked the skin off of my fingers. I picked the skin off of my thumbs until they were red and bleeding. My thumb nails had deep, awful, embarrassing horizontal ridges. They looked bad. Once I asked my doctor about my nails, thinking I had a disease that caused the horrible ridges. He told me that the ridges were caused by damage to the nail beds of the thumbs caused by me from the picking. He was right, but I could only stop for very short periods of time. Six months ago, my psychologist brother suggested I try "aversion therapy." Here's what I did: I wore a rubber band (it's on now) on my left wrist. I pull or tug it instead of picking. It has worked! My thumb nails have no ridges and look perfectly normal. I sometimes do not wear the rubber band and I'm fine. I hope this helps someone else. Sometimes I'd wear an elastic type bracelet instead. Good luck to you all.
Lessons & tips: In my case the "aversion" was plucking the rubber band instead of picking my thumbs. My attention and actions were averted to doing something else.
Resources: I used only a rubber band and did not buy any products.
Entries
I’ve picked twice. I want to not pick for the remainder of the day. For me, I pick my scalp and after continually picking at one spot for about six months I have three penny sized bald spots.
No more.
I have always thought I was a freak and alone on this. My wife of 8 years now has been supportive and tried everything she can. I have 2 boys, 3 and 4, who are asking me why I have white stuff on my hands. I saw my oldest rubbing his fingers the other day like I do right before I start to pick and it broke my heart. I don’t want to pass this on and am looking for some help.
My father came to visit a wile back and I looked at his hands to find that he does the same thing and looks like he has for a long time. If anyone has an idea for me, let me know.
I’m a 21 year old woman and I have just started living my life, but I’d like to leave this part of my life behind me. I’ve been picking ever since I can remember, actually probably since puberty. I don’t know I’m doing it until it’s too late and I’ve done damage. It seems that I pick at my skin all the time. I usually attack my face and back. I feel ashamed though because most times I pick its in public. Even if it’s not the aftermath is there for all to see. I’ve tried the rubber band on my wrist and the antidepressant thing, but it doesn’t work. I’m desperate for anything. Please help.
A previous poster said he/she used to cut. I did too. I was so proud of myself; I got myself to stop several years ago by journaling.
Recently my boyfriend has realized the extent of what I’m doing to my face. I have occasional zits, but I guess I think it’s worse than it actually is. I’m always picking. I don’t think one day goes by without me getting really close to the mirror and scrutinizing. My boyfriend is really concerned about it. I didn’t even think it was a problem until now. But now that I’m thinking about it and reading other posts, I used to pick at my arms, thumbs, legs, etc. I never left scars, but I would peel away skin and then try to hide it. Wow, that sounds so gross.
Anyway, I’m sad now thinking that the cutting never really stopped…it’s just moved into another habit.
Is there a way to stop this? I feel so overwhelmed and controlled by it. And I think my case is a little different. When I was googling I came across this term: body dismorphic disorder. I have always felt that I don’t look the way that I picture myself in my head. I can’t quite place it. I just always expect myself to look prettier, have different features, or just look naturally good. It’s weird.
Where do I start?
I found this while doing research in class regarding cutters…I know I do not cut myself but I know I do pick until I bleed, so that makes me the same. I found the condition and now I am finding that other people do the same thing as me. I don’t feel so alone and I am going to put more energy into trying to make myself quit. The only thing that works for me is acrylic nails and it works 100% – but I can’t afford the time & maintenance every couple weeks.
I am putting a rubber band on my wrist to try that and see if it works…..I CAN DO IT!!!
i got tired of looking at other peoples hands when i went out to see if ANYONE might do the same thing to their fingers that i do to mine. so i did some research the other day and after 21 years i can finally put a name on it and know im not the only one.
i have been picking at my fingers, lips, and feet since i can remember. it’s most serious on my thumbs though.
when people would see my fingers and ask what happened i would come up with the most rediculous excuses just so that i wouldnt have to tell anyone that i did it to myself. i keep my thumbs tucked away in a fist when im around people. i quit playing guitar (one of my passions) because of my fingers. i dont want to put my fingers out there in plain sight.
the shame and embarassment that comes along with this is almost unbearable. it has consumed me. i will sit for hours when im alone in almost a trance with nail clippers or something to aid me in “fixing” my fingers. we will have company at our house and i will get up and go to the bathroom just so that i can pick at my fingers. with the stress only growing in my life, the picking is unfortunatley growing as well… i am now down to the knuckle of my left thumb. so only half of my thumb is left.
i have tried anyhting and everything minus the therapy to stop.
but its looking like therapy will be the only way.
niteowl137 is having a fun weekend! :D
Well, I’m bored. So I thought I’d write in something about my progress. Basically, I’ve been doing a lot better. I’ve been putting lotion on my left foot(the worst spot) every day and it’s been getting a lot better. I’m not good enough to consider myself done(there’s been a few stray pickings), but I’m a lot closer. :D
i never realized this was real. I always picked, i scratch myself till i bleed and i pick at my scalp til it bleeds, i used to get excited about zits cause it gave me something new to pick at. I chew the skin around my fingers til its raw, i always thought i was just wierd. I used to cut myself, i thought i was a recovering self-mutilator, or so said my therapist but i didnt tell him about this. I didnt know skin picking was a form of self injury…wow im still screwed up
