Get over my anxiety

Things are getting much better!!

I had a work ex interveiw today
It went really well :D haha. I was really nervous before it, i thought i wasn’t going to go very well…Even though i new i could do it. I just ignored my negitive thoughts and did it.
:D
I think all i have to work on now is putting my hand up in class? Then i’ll be sure.
But i’m fine with talking to people i dont no now. Have been for awile, that was the thing i wanted to tackle.
:D:D:D

I’m going to check this as done for now.

I think i’ve almost done it :)
But im not going to say i have intill i’m sure.
:D

I don’t know what to do. I have so much work because I procrastinated so much and I might have way fucked up my chances or going to Africa which sucks because my parents already paid in full and can’t get a refund.

Why do I do this to myself.

I made an appointment with a counselor on Thursday. Hopefully it will help.

My anxiety and panic attacks are really bad. I’m learning to cope but I can tell this is going to take awhile to accomplish. I’m willing to fight this until I win.

During the days its not so bad because I can concentrate on other things but trying to sleep is horrible. Just horrible

I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for about 7 years now. It used to completely run my life. I have fought it for a long time, but it seems to control certain aspects of my life. I have this constant knot in my stomach that I can’t get rid of and then b/c I am thinking about it, there goes the panic. I know…stop thinking about it! I wish it were that simple. I have learned to control the panic attacks, but not the anxiety! And b/c of the panic attacks I constantly hear my heart beat and it freaks me out! I cannot stand the sound of a beating heart! So when I try to excercise, my heart rate goes up, I can hear it and feel it beating hard and I fly into a panic attack b/c it freaks me out! I am so stupid I know! I hate this! I will get over it no matter what it takes!

I am making lots of progress. And now I ask people about things instead of stewing over them, it’s easy to derail feelings of complete terror. Also it’s incredible to see how many other people seem to be tackling the same hurdles…